Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Misery Loves Company



And her friends say I ain't the one to go for. 
She just get jealous cause you always get approached more. 
Oh well, tell her fall back. Caught up in some old shit? Tell her call back. 
Tell her get a man that ain't cheating on her ass wit a girl that I know. 
Yeah tell her all that.” 
Just finished rewatching Episode 5 of Basketball Wives. I admit, I watch the show religiously and WILL tune in for Season 2.  In this particular episode, Gloria Govan  is singled out as the "shady ass bitch" because she doesn't want to associate with Royce, because is NOT a wife, just a girl would be lucky enough to sleep with a basketball player. Gloria is thrown into a battle with the other wives on various levels stemming from misunderstanding and envy. Funny how a good relationship can bring you joy and unhappiness all in the same stroke of fortune. 
Bad TV is bad TV and as unhealthy as my obsession with it might be, I can’t help but to find small life lessons in the most unexpected of places. Now, I’m not saying I want to be one of these Basketball Wives (completely) but Gloria seems to be the only wife concerned with maintaining her relationship. The other wives talk incessantly about how the Govan’s relationship is headed downhill, but what do they know? Just because they have no faith in their own relationships, should Gloria retire all trust int he man she vowed to love until her death? 
Is that the green of envy?
pastedGraphic.pdfNow for the lesson I learned:
At the end of May, I met a guy who... is...exactly. Exactly what I hoped for but wasn’t expecting. Thinking I could trust my friend’s opinion, I shared my thoughts, to which she responded by telling me to stop talking to him. Apparently, I was falling too hard too fast. I didn’t have enough walls up.   And (the best part) it was “all game anyways”. 
In sum, I wasn’t a bitter enough bitch. I wasn’t ruining it fast enough. I wasn’t arguing wit him often enough.  I wasn’t opening my legs to him soon enough. 
Envy is greener up close.
"I'm ready to meet whoever it is I'm going to be with" I confided to my best friend since the first grade. I hoped she'd tell me that she was happy for me. Maybe that I deserved it. I naively wished she would have more faith in that I'd find him than I had. 

     “I didn’t expect that from you. I thought you’d want to chill since you just got out of school. You know, do you,” she explained. Since she just got out of an unproductive relationship and is really just “tryina fuck” whatever guy is at the top of her list at the moment, I don’t know how I could’ve expected a different response. Besides, I’m the only friend she has without children or responsibility. The perfect club partner. I always was #1 wingman. Now as I enter the [not telling] month of my partially chosen celibacy, she doesn't understand why I'd wait on this guy. Much less why when he's around, I've chosen not to sleep with him. 
What do you do when you can no longer trust your friends’ opinions? Who do you confide in? No one. Family. Him. The list of confidants narrows and your left to debate the next step by yourself. Perhaps this is a chance for maturing and growth. I don’t know. And the person I can see who seems to understand the situation is Gloria. 
What I learned from Gloria: Don’t go to the reunion. Rather, places where bitter, upset bitches congregate to spread the hate. 
     So here I am. In the house, because I’d rather not have to avoid the conversations. I've found myself having to dodge the questions. I give minimal detail. A relationship is between TWO people, unless you’ve agreed on an different arrangement. But I’m not Penelope Cruz or Scarlett Johansen & this isn’t Vicky Cristina Barcelona
    You can keep your friends close, but your friends and your enemies might be one in the same. Keep your eyes open. 

<3 Miss Lady-Thousand

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