True Colors.

     Here I am watching Mad Men recaps where they have a writer/director comment before every commercial break. (IDK the characters' names since this is only the 2nd episode I've ever seen but) One young wife is planning to leave her husband because he isn't who she thought he was... like, she just found out he gave her a fake name. The director guy goes on to say that he wanted the scene to question the idea of "Is it possible to be loved when people see who you are?"

Well, is it?

      Here's the thing, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I even like who I am. I mean, I love myself but I'm not the nicest, most honest person there is. Let's be serious. My self-centeredness is the ultimate catalyst behind my success and... childlessness. (Teen pregnancy is a bug in the water out here.) But that's not something I think I should apologize for. I mean, isn't it a good thing I have no children? But men might not like a woman so motivated.

     Speaking of motivation. $$ is the motive. Money is ALWAYS the motive. (Here's when the gold digger rears her head) Since I have my own goals --spiritual, personal, professional AND financial --is it wrong for me to want a man with similar goals? Perhaps I won't end up with a sports player who might've lucked out and gotten drafted. Or a Hip-Hop artist because they're all either "on their way" to the top or bottom.  But, YES, I want a man who is pulling an acceptable weight. He needs to play the right cards to be on my team. I would never ask a man to support me but if something were to happen (accident, loss of job, etc.) we need to be able to live comfortably off of one person. My comfort level is simply higher than some other women.

     On the same note, men like women who dress nice and have nice things and look good but don't want to put in the work to maintain that. If a woman is trying to live off of you, that's one thing. But the tokens of appreciation are distinct. I don't want a birthday card, I want birthday at the spa. I don't want a pair of cheap synthetic shoes from Bakers, I want (to say Louboutin but I won't) a little Tory Burch or BCBG. But when my lifestyle changes, the things I want are going to change as well. I'm not asking for off the runway pre-ordered merchandise here (although that'd be niiiiiiicceee).

     So what man would want me if I told him the truth? Yes, I want all the love & physical attraction but I also want to be pampered and spoiled and treated like a queen. I only ask because I am sure of my ability to treat a man like a King. No one said it wouldn't be 50/50. I'm willing to do what a woman should do. Cook, clean, care and comfort.  Meanwhile, I'm an educated woman with a degree under my belt and more to come. All I know is that I won't be broke... so he shouldn't be either. As my homie, Brit Owens, would say "I can't bring no broke man home."